


Doubtful

by ForgottenChesire



Series: Whispered Death A Collection Of Sad Soulmark AU's [7]
Category: Royal Pains
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, Gen, Takes a dark turn after s01e12 Wonderland, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenChesire/pseuds/ForgottenChesire
Summary: He can’t stay. Shouldn’t stay. Not with how he keeps failing his brother. His brother who he may or may not have had the occasional dirty thoughts over. The brother that he often dreamed of kissing until the stress lines went away. If he’s being honest with himself it why none of the relationships ever work out. Because no one ever measures up to Hank. Hell, he doesn’t even measure up. “In fact, the only shock  here is that it took this long for you to let me down.” Hank had been counting the days until he screwed up.





	Doubtful

“My trust in you… doubtful.”

 

Evan feels his heartbreak. Can feel the crystalline pieces of it billow into the nonexistent wind. The tension builds like a fire. It spreads, branching out, burning, from his thigh. From Where his Mark rests. He’s grown up with those words inked onto his skin, a brand. Burdened to know that he’ll fail his soulmate in one way or another. Words tumble out of his mouth, halting, stumbling things, as he realizes that his soul mate is his brother. He already knows that this is what breaks him. Has known since his sick and dying mother ran her fingers over the words and looked at him with pity. 

 

He’s always the fuck up. Can’t do anything right. He had thought… It doesn’t matter what he thought. It doesn’t matter because nothing he ever does matters. That’s why dad always asks for Hank. It’s why people look to Hank instead of him. Shakily he grabs another flute of champagne, downing it as he walks away. He can’t stay. Shouldn’t stay. Not with how he keeps failing his brother. His brother who he may or may not have had the occasional dirty thoughts over. The brother that he often dreamed of kissing until the stress lines went away. If he’s being honest with himself it why none of the relationships ever work out. Because no one ever measures up to Hank. Hell, he doesn’t even measure up.  _ “In fact, the only shock  here is that it took this long for you to let me down.”  _ Hank had been counting the days until he screwed up. 

 

He pauses. One last look, that’s all he’ll allow himself before he leaves because he knows how selfish he can be, that he’ll stay and drag Hank under until they both drown. He wonders if things would have been different if they weren’t related. Would Hank have stuck around? Or would he have left him the first time that Evan let him down? His thigh throbs at the thought and he slides into his car. The leather of his steering wheel is cold beneath his hands. He shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be driving.

 

Not only has he been drinking, but he can feel a numbness spreading out from his Mark. But he puts his car in reverse. He does so because he has too. He has to talk to dad. He has to try and make it right. He  _ has _ to. Nothing else matters. Even if Hank never speaks to him again. Even if he’s burnt the only bridge that’s kept him afloat. He has to make sure that Hank is taken care of.

 

One hand comes off the wheel to scratch at his Mark. Having it said doesn’t mean death. At least not right away. Not right away, not ever. Just means a broken relationship, never talking to the other person again. There are studies done and being done to determine why some people commit suicide after having their Mark spoken. In the dark corners of his soul, Evan knows that he’ll be one of the ones who takes their own life. Because he can’t imagine living with this weight on his soul. Evan takes a deep breath, the hand on his thigh shakes, his chest rattles with unshed tears. And just for a moment, he closes his eyes. Let’s the blackness blanket him as he tries to center himself. It’s just a second, but that second is all he needs for the car to drift into the wrong lane.

 

The screeching of metal, the pain of his car wrapping around him, it’s all he knows. He had tried to turn, to avoid the other car but failed. There is shouting, he can feel it on his skin. Strange as it sounds he can feel the vibrations crawling up his skin. Everything is sensitive, maybe it’s making up for the fact that he can’t hear anything. He can feel it though. The pounding of feet. The shouts and screams. Vibrations that tap dance along the hairs on his arms and up into his throat. The only thing he can’t feel is the piece of glass jutting out of him. He fucked up again, that’s the only thing he can think as he raises a shaky hand to the piece of glass. The edges cut his palm. He fucked up and Divya is going to kill him for ruining her moment. They won’t come to his aid. Instead, they’ll go to the other driver, he thinks as he pulls out the glass. A stupid thing to do, he knows enough to know he should have left it in. It doesn’t hurt. Shouldn’t it hurt? Or is he in shock? He still can’t feel that part of himself. His chest rattles, lungs fighting to breathe. He could just let go. Just give into the darkness that waits on eager wings.

 

But then Hank is there. Lips moving, hands touching, but his eyes never landing on Evan. His big brother won’t even look at him while he’s dying. And that’s probably what hurts the most. One mistake. One, a big one sure, and now Hank won’t even look at him. He looked at mom. His hands attempt to bat at Hank, he wants his brother to look at him. To forgive him. But the more he tries the more Hank looks everywhere else. Defeated he closes his eyes and stops fighting.

 

Hank sobs as Evan goes limp in his hands. As those eyes that always looked at him in awe slip closed. As Evan’s chest stops moving. He crawls into the trashed and wrecked convertible, gathering Evan into his arms. The last words that he spoke to his brother bounce around in his head. He bends down, placing a gentle kiss on quickly cooling cheeks.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I tried. I did. I’m sorry,” he whispers, rocking slowly.

 

His eyes never leave the long shard of glass that rests next to where his brother was. Evan took it out of his own chest. But why? Why would… The burn right under his ear throbs. His breath catches. He had thought a bug bit him. Shoving his nose against matted hair he cries. His Mark was his name, he heard it every day. Insisted on it. Thought it would be a good way to cheat fate. And instead it- he cuts that line of thought off. Around him, he hears others talking. Murmuring. Evan should be out there. Schmoozing the crowd. Not dead. Evan should be alive. He eyes the shard. Divya will be back soon. If he’s going to do it, it’ll have to be quick.

 

“Hank!? How’s Evan?”


End file.
